The Forbidden Woman

Proverbs 5 warns us against the forbidden woman and there is much in this chapter for us to cling to for hope in the eye of temptation.

V1-2: God’s Word Is Our Only Hope

¹ My son, be attentive to my wisdom;

incline your ear to my understanding,

²that you may keep discretion,

and your lips may guard knowledge.

We would do well to remember that God’s word, like our conscience, is meant to protect us. Unfortunately, many believe that being a Christian is subscribing to a life of restriction. This is far from the truth as Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28-30, reassuring us that His yoke is light.

True Freedom is only found in Christ Himself who is the owner and rightful giver of all there is to give.

And so let’s use our lips to guard knowledge by reciting Scripture to ourselves and the world at large.

David teaches us this lesson in Psalm 51:14-15: 

“Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.”

Oh, how we despise and misuse God’s gifts! The same mouth we use to curse is the same mouth we use to praise God? Can an unclean thing mix with clean things?

God help us, because…

V3-6: The Wages of Sin Is Death

³ For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey,

and her speech is smoother than oil,

⁴ but in the end she is bitter as wormwood,

sharp as a two-edged sword.

⁵ Her feet go down to death;

her steps follow the path to Sheol;

⁶ she does not ponder the path of life;

her ways wander, and she does not know it.

Sin’s wage is death, but it doesn’t present itself that way, does it? In fact, it presents itself in such a luscious & desirable way.

I personally liken sin to junk food. It seems enticing until its results surface.

Using the ordinary means of grace (Prayer, Reading the Word, etc.), we can put out the fiery arrows from afar and it will give us the wisdom to get out of the way.

Speaking of getting out of the way…

V7-14: The Power of Spiritual Wisdom

⁷ And now, O sons, listen to me,

and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

⁸ Keep your way far from her,

and do not go near the door of her house,

⁹ lest you give your honor to others

and your years to the merciless,

¹⁰ lest strangers take their fill of your strength,

and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,

¹¹ and at the end of your life you groan,

when your flesh and body are consumed,

¹² and you say, “How I hated discipline,

and my heart despised reproof!

¹³ I did not listen to the voice of my teachers

or incline my ear to my instructors.

¹⁴ I am at the brink of utter ruin

in the assembled congregation.”

A friend of mine went to his pastor to ask his advice on the best way to deal with sexual temptation. The answer he received is in verse 8. Stay far away from her! We are not as strong as we think we are when it comes to resisting temptation.

In fact, one pastor said, ‘if you find it difficult to put down a pack of Doritos, forget about fighting temptation.’

Spiritual Wisdom, as this section of the passage teaches, is paramount in our fight against temptation. If we despise it, our wealth (v9) and strength (v10) will be enjoyed by strangers. While our flesh and body (v11), instead of finding healing as they should through wisdom, will be consumed to utter ruin (v14) due to our folly.

V15-20: Marriage Is Sacred

¹⁵ Drink water from your own cistern,

flowing water from your own well.

¹⁶ Should your springs be scattered abroad,

streams of water in the streets?

¹⁷ Let them be for yourself alone,

and not for strangers with you.

¹⁸ Let your fountain be blessed,

and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

¹⁹ a lovely deer, a graceful doe.

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

be intoxicated always in her love.

²⁰ Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman

and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus teaches that men are to hold fast to their wives.

For husbands, “the holding fast” means that we are to occupy 4 offices in the lives of our wives and families, as Christ taught us:

Priests: Pray for them

Prophets: wash our wives with the Word and lead them through it

Providers: ensure their wellbeing, emotionally, physically and spiritually

and the one I want to focus on for now:

Protectors: Contrary to popular belief - our wives don’t need us to have Dwyane Johnson’s muscles. If that were the case, many of us here would be single for life. Rather they need us to protect them from spiritual dangers that creep in because of unchecked sin.

Brothers, we’ve determined in this teaching, that sexual sin is a terrible sin (1 Cor 6:18 says it’s a sin against one’s body and our bodies, as believers, are God’s temple).

However, brothers, although it’s this terrible, it’s important to remember that all sin is terrible. And the Bible uses adultery and idolatry interchangeably. God refers to Israel as an adulterous nation because of their idolatry. Meaning, even if we have never committed adultery (physically and mentally), if we idolise anything, we too are adulteresses to a Groom who has given us nothing but love and His life.

What the world offers is fleeting, and it will never satisfy us and our pursuit of it will only lead to our eternal ruin. However, as Jesus told the woman at the well, those who drink the water that He will give them (i.e. the Holy Spirit) will never be thirsty again.

God’s gifts are eternally satisfying - Taking care of, protecting and enjoying the 2nd greatest gift (after Salvation) that God has given you (i.e. your wife) will be eternally rewarding.

V21-23: There Is No Escape for the Folly

²¹ For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord,

and he ponders all his paths.

²² The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him,

and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.

²³ He dies for lack of discipline,

and because of his great folly he is led astray.

Like Psalm 139, verse 21 in our text tells us that we have nowhere to hide from the eyes of the Lord. While He’s looking, it also says He ‘ponders” or “takes note of” our paths (good and evil). It doesn’t mean that every sin is visited with immediate punishment (praise God for that!). Rather, that He has fixed a Day when unrepentant sinners will be captured by their folly.

To the bride, however, who trusts and remains steadfast in her walk with her Lord, what awaits her on that Day is not judgement, but overwhelming joy; not condemnation but eternal glory in the company of her Holy, Holy, Holy Groom - who has washed her and presented her as His pure and eternal bride.

Oh, may our good Father, through His Son, give us the Spiritual wisdom, strength and joy to run the race that He has given us, for His eternal glory. Amen.